Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
