I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
