is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
