I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize