i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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