She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
