I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
