when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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