I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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