My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
And then he peed in my hair
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