my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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