she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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