i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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