Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize