I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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