WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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