I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
