even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
