batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
wow bdsm is so cute
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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