And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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