oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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