So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
