just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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