Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Randomize
