Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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