she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
