Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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