hotel room ftw
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize