i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
