well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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