Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
