dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
