I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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