he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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