Everything about him screamed your future.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
