We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
