the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
