It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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