Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
