38 yer olds are good kisserssss
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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