I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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