LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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