the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
