Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
