she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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