You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
