My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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