what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
