I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
