I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
