Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
