I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
