tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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