walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
