I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
