we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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