If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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