just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
