I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
